a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
