I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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