he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize