do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
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it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
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we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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