ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
