I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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