Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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