So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
