We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
