The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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