erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
