I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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