Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
