the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
