he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize