Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
