I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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