he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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