i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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