We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
