Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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