He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
