Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
