Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
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