Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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