will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
