He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
ttyl tear gas
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
