girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
