i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
