This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize