What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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