like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
