Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
