Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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