I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
