all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
pop tarts are not kleenex
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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