I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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