i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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