I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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