toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I cannot find my penis.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize