I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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