tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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