I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
