yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
