I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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