i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
