So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
