I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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