Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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