dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
