but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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