ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
