Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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