he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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