Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
