so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
