You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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