im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
