i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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