if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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