Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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