I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
where does the pee come out of this thing
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
