There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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