ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Quick, to the slutcave!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
