meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
