just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
