If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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