Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
