I faked an abortion last night.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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