this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
